I’m sitting here waiting for Christmas to come. Only nine more days. It doesn’t feel like Christmas. It looks like Christmas out there. I walk through the shopping malls, drive past houses decorated with Christmas lights and tinsel. Santa Claus, the reindeers and lots of Christmas trees. People rushing to and fro, parcels and packages weighing them down. Children run through shopping malls, begging for this and that. Tantrums erupts from those children who get a no for an answer.
It’s all there. Yet I do not feel a part of it. This is my second Christmas without my husband of 49 years. I sip my coffee and watch families, couples all engrossed in Christmas looming ahead. I remember how we used to be part of that pre Christmas rush. Memories flood back of times when our children were young and Christmas was the time for fun, huge parcels that had little gifts. The delight was in the opening, sheet by sheet.
Thenthe famiky get-togethers. Salacious savouries, Christmas treats and everyone eating till they could eat no more. Yes. I used to be a part of that. Right now though, I watch. I remember. I do not participate. Yes, life without hubby has gone by. Yet I still,long for those Christmases of the past. My mind screams out..get over it…leave it behind. My hearts says, remember. Cherish the memory because you’ll know when it’s time to join in again.